Spanish Series: Part 3 - The Inquisition

So we left off with the Reconquista being a success, defeating the Muslims and taking the territory of would-be Spain back into Christian hands. With the marriage of King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella, their kingdoms merging into one, Spain looks almost as it does today (in regards to borders). This is when they decide that they are now in a position to do the absolutely unexpected. In comes the Spanish Inquisition.

A depiction of one of the executions. It's fortunate
everything smelled terrible in the Middle Ages, because
it must be tough to get used to the smell of burning flesh.

The Inquisition begins with a friar bringing the issue of people secretly practicing Judaism in private, making it the least cool secret society ever, but also putting on the coolest Barmitzfahs. The monarchs then bring this piece of information to the Pope, requesting his permission to spite the nonbelievers. At first he denied their request, but with the threat of withdrawing the Spanish military force away from protecting Rome meant the Vatican was about to change it’s mind faster than the top speed of the Popemobile - which I assume is at least a moderately high speed. 

Right away, people were executed for the practice of non-Christian beliefs, typically in the form of being burned at the stake. Riots rose up in defense of the atrocities, possibly hoping for at least a more humane way of murdering the non-believers - some sort of stoning or something, preferably. The riots actually got strong enough to rise up and murder one of the top ranking inquisitors. Unfortunately for them, this had a negative effect on the public image of those against the inquisition. Think of it this way; you’re saying the people who believe something else are evil, corrupt, etc., and the people who disagree go and murder someone. All of a sudden the general opinion is going to shift a little. 

A torture chamber during the inquisition. Also
pictured: depressing.

Once that ugliness was out of the way, a whole new wave of ugliness rolled in. Half of the Jews were expelled entirely, while the other half claimed to convert - more so to avoid expulsion than any sudden, grand change in perspective which you would think would be pretty obvious to everyone involved, but... perhaps not. In addition to the removal, they would take all their worldy possessions - gold, jewels, territory, housing - everything. This meant that Spain had a massive, sudden influx of wealth but a notably diminished middle class, making their growth stagnate for the next long while. It was like selling your car, rendering you unable to get to work.Some time later, the Muslims would arrive at the same fate. Confiscation, then forced conversion, or simply deportation. 

Basically how it would go was an inquisitor would swing by a town. He’d tell everyone they’re to confess if they’ve been practicing any other religions than Christianity. If you confessed, they’re likely to take it easy on you - easy being “change your religion and give us all your stuff”, but better than the alternative. They would then ask if anyone knows anyone committing any grievances, leading to a number of false accusations and suspicion. It was all done anonymously, and if the internet has taught me anything, anonymnity brings out absolute monsters in people. If you were accused, you would be brought to detention - sometimes for years - while you wait for a verdict, your property typically being what pays off the fines. That would all be leading up to the trial, in which you would occasionally be tortued with a number of disturbingly ingenious methods. The worst crimes, or repeat offenders, would be executed. Fortunately, if you recanted on your death-stake, they would cut your throat first so you didn’t have to suffer the indignity of screaming while burning to death. It was by no means a pleasant time.

The inquisition ended more with a whimper than a bang. Power started to move away from the church and more towards the state, and their influence simply decreased over time. Over the course of the inquisition, 150,000 were tried, about 2% of them being executed. That may not sound like a high number of executions, but considering they’re public burnings, it sounds considerably more horrific. What a great way to start a monday for a grade eight class!

Famous Historical Figures Say the Darndest Things!

1. "Many true and faithful Christians, because of the testimony of enemies, rivals, slaves and other low people - and still less appropriate - without tests of any kind, have been locked up in secular prisons, torture and condemned like relapsed heretics, deprived of their goods and properties, and given over to the secular arm to be executed, at great danger to their souls, giving a pemicious example and causing scandal to many." The Pope's run on sentence in regards to the inquisition; he was neither a fan of it, nor punctuation. 
2. "...great harm suffered by Christians (i.e. Converos) from the contact, intercourse and communication which they have with the Jews, who always attempt in various ways to seduce faithful Christians from our Holy Catholic Faith." -Henry Keegan, British Historian on why they were expelled. 

Spanish Series: Part 2 - El Cid

Only the most awesome of the Spanish
were depicted with swords on horseback.

This will be a continuation on the Reconquista, the first volume of the Spanish Series. Here's the highlights; the powerful Islamic nations, branching from the Middle East all the way to the west coast of Africa are starting to make some headway in Europe through the Iberian Peninsula. It's like a game of risk; territories are taken, people are angry to the point of fighting, and it takes course over about eight hundred years; the only difference is the warring parties didn't start out as friends. Anyways, I digress; what you need to know is the Muslims were taking land in Spain, and the Christians were pissed and were going to fight like all heck to take it back. And that's where our friend Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar comes in - more commonly known as El Cid. 

The strange part about El Cid is he ends up being a champion of both the Muslims and the Christians, despite the fact that he fought for both sides at some point during the Reconquista. He's a national hero of Spain now, and he at one point fought for the Muslim takeover of the place. How the heck did this happen? It's like some backwards nation where you kill members of the government and all of a sudden become hailed as one of the greatest members of the country, living or dead. Oh, wait, that's exactly what happened with Louis Riel. Well, ignore the "backwards" part and put it in the "apparently common?" category. 

El Cid's sword: if life were a video game, it would
be a legendary item.

Anyways, his story: he was the commander of Castile (one of the mini-kingdoms that was in place before Spain became a country) under the rulership of Sancho II (possibly better than Sancho I, but who's to say?). This was all well and good for a time. He came to be known as somewhat of a military tactician, defeating a fair few armies in his day. Things were going well for him - but not for Sancho. Sancho was the oldest of three brothers vying for power - oldest is a good thing of course, as that means you typically have the most of it. Unfortunately, his brothers weren't that cool with this, and it caused a lot of infighting. El Cid fought on his behalf to defeat his brothers, most notably Alfonso, as well as some Muslim kingdoms in the meantime (this is where he earned the title "El Campeador" - the Champion - for the one on one defeat of a knight). This was all well and good, until something particularly bad happened.

Sancho died.

That meant that all the power goes to the next oldest brother - Alfonso - and with that all of the military might - which means El Cid. Talk about awkward; the guy was busy mounting forces to kill the guys he's now supposed to be working side by side with. Naturally, it became a little too tough to reconcile and El Cid was promptly exiled. So here's El Cid, this military commander who has pretty well pissed off everyone by killing Alfonso's men, the Moors, and... well that pretty much covers everyone you can upset. So he went to option two - the Moors! Fortunately for him, they took him in...

The other stature of El Cid (that I can find
on the internet). In this one, he is also
depicted as awesome.

...and he promptly started to crush the armies of Alfonso. Working with the Muslims, he earned the title "El Cid" which means "the Lord". So on one side he's the Lord, and the other, the Champion. It's like they're fighting over who can give the guy the cooler nickname. Historically, it seems like the Muslims won that battle. Anyways, he's busy defeating Alfonso who takes note of the fact that his armies are being decimated and decides maybe getting rid of El Cid was an error - it certainly was.

El Cid then returns, makes peace, and decides to create an army of his own full of both Muslims and Christians and takes over Valencia. He was still politically affiliated with Alfonso, but he was almost entirely independent. Unfortunately, he managed to find another enemy (this time the Berbers, the previously Muslim-allied inhabitants of North Africa) and he eventually died during the siege. 

Now, despite my extensive wikipedia-ing, I can't for the life of me figure out exactly why he's such a hero that he is. Yes, he was an absolute champ on the battlefield, but... for the most part he was pretty soldier of fortune-like. That's a characteristic that doesn't typically land you in the "big book of good guys" very often, so that leaves me, admittedly, a little confused. Perhaps I should watch the 1961 historical epic El Cid starring Charlton Heston. That, or not do any of that.

Famous Historical Figures Do the Darndest Things!

1. El Cid went all video-game style and decided to name his swords and horse - Tizona and Babieca, respectively. Babieca apparently has a tomb. Something about the fact that that horse will undoubtedly be remembered for centuries longer than my name bothers me somewhat. 
2. There is a legend of El Cid where his corpse, shortly after his death during the siege on Valencia, was placed on his horse with full battle regalia. This was meant to inspire the troops... somehow. Eventually, it was adapted into a film called Weekend at Bernie's.

Spanish Series: Part 1 - The Reconquista

A depiction of one of the battles. It shows just how...
colourful and confusing the fighting was, I guess. 

These grade eight kids are freaking tough. Teaching a challenge program means everyone knows way more than you would expect them to, and sadly, way more than you'd like them to. I know it sounds like a bonus to be teaching intelligent children, but the problem is they keep trying to learn. They ask countless questions and they ask them on topics I know hardly a thing about. I taught on the Aztec empire, for example; I've never taken a class on it, I'm not entirely sure if I learned it at their age, and it's not exactly modern day stuff you'll casually hear about. And they're asking specifics. There's only so many times you can say "sorry, I don't know that one, I'll get back to you" before looking like you've no idea what you're doing up there. Now I'm off to middle ages Spain, and I'm just as in the dark as ever before - but I have time. So you know what that means...

Wikipedia, save my career.

In the early 700s the Moors, an Islamic group centred around North Africa, took over much of present day Spain and Portugal due to a lacking army of the then in power Visigoths. Supported by the Berbers, a group of indigenous North Africans, they settled in, planted some Mosques, and made it their home. This was an extension of what was already a rather large empire, stretching from the middle east all the way through Egypt and to the western coast of Africa, but making little headway into Europe on the western front. Unfortunately for them, they would be slowly kicked right back out of the Iberian Peninsula over the next 781 years, being almost entirely out the door by 500. Much like a houseguest who overstayed their welcome, where you manage to get them to the door but can't progress from there. Like that, just stretched out for a few centuries. The process of taking back the land for the Christians was called the Reconquista.

If your coat of arms is created
with depictions of the severed
heads of your enemies, it's likely
you're in for a pretty savage war.

This was made possible in part due to infighting between the Berbers and the Muslims; the Berbers saw the Muslims as holding prejudices towards them and seeing them as lesser, a sentiment that is not appreciated when you're the bulk of the military force. Paired with the occasional rebellion and infighting between neighbouring Moor generals, their power became rather tenuous. The real beginning of the end came when they went to move beyond the peninsula and start to venture into France, where they were stopped dead in their tracks at the Battle of Toulouse. The French, allied with a number of other Christian men seeking to take more land for the sake of Christianity (it says in the Bible God wants a lot of land, somewhere near the back of the book or something). The battle decimated the Moorish ranks, allowing their enemies to begin to retake much of the land they had just conquered. It was a religious war, and one that would set the tone for the Crusades in the next several hundred years - Muslims and Christians fighting over religious differences in Europe. 

The Reconquista really became linked with the fight for Christianity as a whole a few centuries down the line when the Crusades first began. It was religiously justified, having been promoted by the Papacy as a way of smiting the infidels and bringing good to the world through slaughtering. If you kill enough people, you'll find yourself a rather comfy spot in heaven. The concept may be a touch confusing, but... I guess you just kind of had to be there.

"Santiago the Moor Slayer", seen here
about to murder a smiling young man
who is simply waving at him. He may find
difficulties in reaching him with such a tiny sword.

The end result was a slow, methodical defeat of the Muslims as they lost more and more territory in the Iberian Peninsula. Their last piece of land was in Granada, which stood as a Muslim area for almost eight centuries. When it fell, the Reconquista was complete under the guidance of King Ferdinand of Aragon and Isabella of Castile. The two kingdoms were separate pieces of territory split up during the Reconquista, as at this point Spain was not yet a country. They later married and merged their boundaries (snarf snarf), making what is mostly spain as we know it today - and later leading them into the Spanish Inquisition and the Spanish Empire. 

Isabella, over a millenium later, is best remembered as a playable character in Sid Meier's Civilization series - arguably her greatest achievement to date.

Famous Historical Figures Say the Darndest Things!

1. "I will pluck the pomegranate, seed by seed." King Ferdinand on attacking Granada, a slow, methodical fight. 
2. "I will assume the undertaking for my own crown of Castile, and am ready to pawn my jewels to defray the expenses of it, if the funds in the treasury should be found inadequate." This quote is hardly related, but is from Isabella. I'm going to have to do something about this quote section, as quotes are pretty tricky to find in the really old stuff. Tune in next time...

The Battle of Stalingrad

It's dangerous talking about the World Wars. Generally speaking it's relatively safe to talk about relatively obscure historical topics (the Dionne Quintuplets, The Plains of Abraham, Louis Riel... well, anything Canadian really) because it's rare that you're going to bump into anyone who knows them well enough to correct you on anything. However, the World Wars are popular enough of a topic to not quite be able to sneak past a mistake or two - not saying that there will be any here... but I'm also certainly not saying there won't be. Because of this, I'm going to be really throwing a full fledged statistic barrage in this blog, because the numbers at the very least will tell the truth. I guess I'm saying something about this blog in that I clearly fear being corrected more than being wrong, but I digress.

A street fight much more intimidating
than those in West Side Story.

The book I read on the topic was Stalingrad: The Battle That Shattered Hitler's Dreams of World Domination. It was well worth the five dollars I spent on it at Chapters while killing time until my birthday in which I would inevitably receive a book or two (you're up next, Canada's national dream of building a transcontinental railway!).

Here's the funny thing about Stalingrad. As far as priority targets go, this one was pretty far down the list. The Germans didn't really need it, and it was more of a "take it if you get the chance" type mission for the generals. There's a good chance they wanted it to prevent reinforcements from Stalingrad to disrupt their forces, sure, but it certainly wasn't a be-all-end-all type city for Russia. A possible reason for the mistakenly high priority was the name itself - defeating Stalingrad would serve as a moral blow to the Russian forces (hint: the name Stalin is in the name Stalingrad). Regardless, they thought it was a good idea to sack the city, but when their first attempt failed, they sent in reinforcements... which failed. Naturally, they would - guess what? - send in more reinforcements. The Russians would in turn respond with more troops, which the other side required more troops to kill those ones. You can see how this builds on each other. All in all, the end result was two kids playing Bloody Knuckles in junior high with both parties being too full of pride to quit and let the other win - except this time the stakes were the lives of millions in what would be one of the most horrible places to be in the entire world.

Russians defending what are already absolutely
annihilated buildings - or it's just how Russia looks.

On one side there was the big Russian kid who wouldn't let the German one on his playground. Stalin instituted the "Not One Step Back" policy for the defenders of Stalingrad, meaning you don't retreat, you don't surrender, and if you're giving an inch of grounds to the Germans you had best be dead, or else they would help you get there. How they managed to put this into action was having a full line of Russian soldiers on the perimeter with a roving, smaller set of men behind them armed with machine guns. If the Russians attempted to retreat - or deemed not fighting hard enough, I kid you not - they would fire on their own men, mowing them down with machine gun fire. Those that survived would be put into "Punishment Companies", which were basically impossible suicide missions that would earn you back your pride. This included high risk areas or walking through minefields to set off the explosives - again, I am quite serious. 422,000 soldiers were placed in these companies in what was the single most vicious form of quality control of all time.

I forgot to mention, they also bombed the place into oblivion.

Inside the city the civilians didn't fare much better. Stalin wanted to keep up appearances, and the idea of having civilians evacuate meant that they were accepting that there was a chance that Stalingrad might fall. This meant that the majority of men, women and children were not allowed to exit, and those that did were shot. The civilians would have to dig tank trenches, build defensive fortifications, or join the Worker Militia Battalion, a poorly equipped force that didn't have enough guns to properly supply their numbers. The logic was they would be sent at the Germans, sometimes two people to a gun. If the man you're following dies, you pick his gun up and shoot things with it, preferably a German.

Regardless of all the extra forces, extreme tactics or tough-as-nails Russian women and children digging trenches, the Germans were still advancing and making their way into the city itself. This meant that the Germans were moving house to house in an unfamiliar urban warfare style. They called it "Rattenkreig", meaning "rat warfare". Death was quite literally around the corner - they would toss a grenade into a room, move in, check if it's clear, and move out. Rinse and repeat. It was terrifying, nervy work.

The Germans were under the impression they were basically going to roll through Russia pretty well unopposed, and for the most part that is how the war on the eastern front began. They would capture so many prisoners and win so many battles, but the Russian forces would resupply and send in more men from what was seemingly an endless supply. Massive losses were irrelevant. They were essentially the "zerg" from the Starcraft franchise. The reason why the superior numbers were not instantly winning was mostly due to inferior tactics and decision making, as well as having technology that was behind the German capabilities. So naturally, when you're getting kicked around by a superior fighter, you adopt his tactics. The Russians decided they were to turn a German warfare staple into their own, and shock the Nazis with a massive force. With tanks moving past the infantry and destined to penetrate deep into enemy lines, they intended to attack with speed - lightning speed. The Russians were going to Blitzkrieg the Nazis.

A modern day picture of "Pavlov's House",
a fortified apartment in which the
Russian forces defended mightily. It
says "We will rebuild you, dear
Stalingrad!"... and they did, just forgetting
to paint it the same colour.

The Russians started forming a massive force; 13,000 guns, 894 tanks, 1,150 aircraft and a million infantry men. They bombarded the German line suddenly, tearing through them and placing them so quickly on the defensive they did not have the time to react. The result of the Blitzkrieg was a massive amount of trapped German troops - 220,000 to be exact. The Russians encircled them, cut off their supply, and waited. Supplies were brought in from the Luftwaffe, but flying past the Russians made it a hugely dangerous and often ineffective mission. The Germans were low on ammunition, didn't have enough fuel for their tanks, and were hungry, cold and fearful in the Russian winter. Conditions became about as bad as you could imagine, and an outbreak of sudden, inexplicable deaths occurred. Men that would be fine - well, at least relatively fine, considering - would die on the spot just a few hours later. Moral dropped as they awaited rescue that would be almost impossible.

The Russians offered surrender, to which the Germans refused. They began to be cut down, although held out surprisingly well considering the situation. A second offer of surrender was taken, but being a German prisoner to a bunch of Russians that you were previously attacking is arguably worse. The 111,465 men that were taken were put to work rebuilding Stalingrad, only half of them surviving to spring. Only 5,000 of them would ever see Germany again. The Russians were incredibly vengeful, and understandably so.

So the battle is over, the Germans defeated after an incredible Blitzkrieg maneuver by the Russians, but the victory is difficult to claim. 200,000 Russian civilians died, with another 13,541 being executed by the Russians themselves for conspiracy to help the Germans. The Red Army fared no better; 478,471 were killed, with another 650,878 injured. On the German side, 750,000 were killed, wounded or taken prisoner, effectively ruining a massive part of the Nazi force in attempting to take just one rather insignificant city.

It makes you wonder how the war would have gone if it was still named Tsaritsyn, having changed it's name to Stalingrad in 1925. Oh, and it's called Volgograd now by the way. Russians just can't keep city names.

Famous Historical Figures Say the Darndest Things!

1. "From above, it was very well visible to the pilots, that civilians were waiting on the shore. Many times we saw enemy pilots acting as professional assassins. They opened fire on the unarmed women and children and selected targets so as to maximize the number of people killed. The pilots dropped bombs in a crowd at the moment they were beginning to board a boat, fired at the decks of the boats, and bombed islands on which hundreds of wounded had accumulated. The people crossed the river not only on boats and barges. They sailed on overcrowded boats, even on logs, barrels, and boards bound with wire. And the Fascists opened fire from the air on each floating target. They were massacring people." A quote on the atrocities committed by the Nazis on the Russian civilian population. It went both ways.
2. "The 6th Army is temporarily surrounded by Russian forces. I know the 6th Army and your commander in chief and have no doubt that in this difficult situation it will hold on bravely. The 6th Army must know that I am doing everything to relieve them. I will issue my orders in good time." - Hitler's message to the trapped 6th Army.
3. "The bitter frost, the cold biting winds and the snowstorms have yet to come. Your men have not been supplied with winter uniforms, and live in appalling unhygienic conditions. You as the commander must realize full well that you have no real chance of breaking out of the ring of encirclement. Your situation is hopeless and further resistance is useless." A Russian message sent to the trapped German forces, suggesting surrender.