The Atomic Bomb: Part 3 - Nuclear Stockpiling

A picture the Tsar bomb from (literally) 100 miles away.
Hippies everywhere flocked to the explosion upon seeing
the 'shroom, but were disappointed to discover
it was only a cloud. 

We left off with Russia having the bomb, America having the bomb, and both of them staring at each other flexing like two of the toughest guys at the bar who have had a bit too much to drink, believing that they are indeed the strongest. Now, don't get me wrong, nukes are strong - but are they strong enough? The scientists apparently looked at the bomb and thought, yeah, it can blow up a city, but can't it get any bigger? Well, the answer is yes - it certainly can. You just need to use the power of the sun, but not in some sissy "solar power saving the world" type way. We want the "solar power annihilating the crap out of everything" way! Now, it's not putting a solar panel on a bomb, it's fusing hydrogen atoms in a similar manner to how the sun produces energy. Or exactly the same manner on a smaller scale - I don't know. Either way, the result is an explosion that dwarfs the previous ones.

The hydrogen bomb was developed just a few years after Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but it wasn't the end of ever increasing bomb sizes. Bombs kept getting larger until the Russians developed the Tsar Bomb, a hydrogen bomb that was (and still is) the most powerful nuclear bomb ever created. The Tsar was dropped in 1961 as one of many nuclear tests. The blast was fifty megatons, or fifty million tons of T.N.T., well over a thousand times more powerful than the ones dropped on the Japanese. 

Well, it's a graph. It explains itself. I don't need a caption
for it, but I would feel so empty without one.

Bomb production skyrocketed as well. The idea was mutual for each superpower; if their enemy had a lot of nukes then they could destroy their country, so they had to ensure that they in turn held enough nukes to destroy them back, thus preventing them from firing in the first place. So on they built, ensuring that even if the Russians wanted to bomb Buford, Wyoming (wikipedia tells me it's the smallest town in America, with a population of one, somehow) they could do it, and if America wanted to bomb the smallest Russian town right back they certainly could as well. It was an arms race, which works perfectly with my metaphor of the two tough guys in the bar, but I'll pass on adding another pun to this blog series.

So just how many bombs did they build? In 1947 the U.S. had 13. 1953 saw that number up to 1,100. Late '60s, 31,000. Between the two of them there were 60,000 nuclear weapons with 36 different types hanging around in the world. 

The nukes weren't just sitting there, though; plenty of them were being used for testing, just not on people. A few hundred were tested but the environmental effects were worrisome, causing the signing of a treaty in 1963 to no longer test the bombs in the atmosphere, space, on the ground or underwater. Great! That just meant that they would test them underground, where another eight hundred or so were tested until they stopped in 1992. Take that, mother Earth!

A crater left by a nuclear test, awaiting the winter to be
once more used as a hill for tobogganing.

While I won't delve deeply into the happenings of the Cold War, both sides eventually pulled out and didn't bomb each other to smithereens, leaving us in some post-apocalyptic video game world. But what would have happened had the bomb not been there in the first place? Would the Soviet Union and the United States have fought with troops instead? It could very well have caused another colossal war. Since, the number of nuclear bombs has decreased greatly, but the number of countries that own them hasn't. The U.S. and Russia obviously still have them, but add to that list India, Israel, China, France, Pakistan and North Korea, according to the Huffington Post. Now, those countries have a very, very small piece of the pie, but Japan would be the first to remind you of what just two nuclear bombs, much smaller than what we have now, can do. 

__________________________________________

The information for this blog was taken from the documentary The Bomb, a PBS program. 

The Atomic Bomb: Part 2 - The Bomb in Use

"Hooray," thought the Americans. "We have the bomb! So... now what?"

What happens when you detonate a nuke underwater.
The centre is a massive column of water. They sought to test
"what happens when we blow up a bomb under the ocean?"
and came up with "it explodes". 

Bombing Germany was no longer necessary. They had just surrendered a few months prior to the full development and trial of the nuke, and unless the Americans wanted to prove a point, they weren't planning on using it on them anytime soon (unless in an unlikely Zombie Hitler scenario). So that leaves Japan, the never surrender, everything for the Emperor fighters that in spite of everything around them refuse to back down. The scientists were fifty-fifty with the rather obvious moral implications. Dropping a bomb on a Japanese city is no longer attacking soldiers - it's all civilian casualties, and a massive number of them in one fell swoop. However, to perpetuate the war for however long the Japanese were planning on holding out for (which may well have been to the very last able bodied soldier went down) would have meant losing a great number of American soldiers and postponed the end of the horrors of war. That might not play well with a public (and army) that is weary of battle and believes they have an option to eliminate the enemy without the loss of their own. It's a loaded question with no easy answer - but that's not what we're here to discuss.

Years later, Apollo Creed called out the
Russians in a similar fashion. Living
in America...

The much better route would have been negotiating an unconditional surrender. There was just one burning word in there that the Japanese couldn't accept; "unconditional". They wished to oversee their own war crimes trial, to keep their Emperor, and avoid occupation. The Americans disagreed with the terms, and the "Little Boy" was placed in a B-29 bomber and dropped over Hiroshima. Exploding well above the ground, a ten thousand degree blast levelled a whole quarter mile with a shockwave that pushed out much further. 80,000 die in something that has never been seen in war before; that many losses from one person flying one bomb with one plane - it wasn't an army and there were no risks, but that level of destruction was now on the table at a moment's notice. Even then, the Japanese would not surrender and the "Fat Man" bomb was dropped on Nagasaki. 70,000 were killed. 

This is all common knowledge. What isn't as well known is that Nagasaki wasn't the original target; Kokura was meant to be the victim of the Fat Man but a cloudy day prevented it. Clear skies in Nagasaki is what doomed those people to a fiery death, the blast strong enough to sometimes leave haunting shadowy imprints from where their bodies absorbed the heat. The Japanese Army still did not wish to surrender, but deferred to the Emperor's wishes to finally give in. President Truman says it was unconditional in a speech to the public, but that isn't entirely true - they accepted the condition of keeping their Emperor in which the Japanese held so dear.

The arms race officially begins once Stalin sees pictures of the devastation wrought at Hiroshima. Stalin was not surprised at the knowledge that the Americans had the bomb as he had not one but two men on the inside at Los Alamos. Klaus Fuchs was a communist that sent information back to Stalin. One could say he was Klaus to Fuchs-ing up the operation until the Americans focussed on Stalin the flow of information to the Soviets. (YES!) A second soviet in disguise, Theodore Hall, was also found to be sending information. He must have had a Hall of a time explaining that one. (DOUBLE YES!)

"Sweet Enola Gay, son!"
It was said the bomb was detonated from the height of the man's
shorts on the left.

The post-bombing world effectively started the Cold War, full of proxy battles, Doomsday Clocks, and a whole bunch of movies about Vietnam (Platoon, Apocalypse Now, Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now 2: Apocalypse Yesterday). Russia was eager to get the bomb and had their own team working on it, and the Americans were eager to perfect it. The Los Alamos lab grew rapidly and tests become far more common. The first mass produced bomb is created, and suddenly you have something capable of dealing out massive quantities of death indiscriminately and all the time it takes to make them is about a week (or half a fortnight). 

To make matters worse, and when the Cold War really kicks off, is when Russia produces their first atomic bomb. Suddenly, they're on the same level as the U.S. again, capable of destroying them just as surely as the States could destroy the Soviets. Nuclear arsenals mount for decades, and fear becomes the predominant emotion of the civilian population as the idea that their lives could be snuffed out at any given moment. That prospect is not only a possibility but a very real and not unlikely one. 

Plus, in the early '70s, Canada heroically defeated the Soviet Union in hockey, which left them really cheesed off. 

The Atomic Bomb: Part 1 - Putting it Together

Thankfully, there aren't a lot of things in the world that could wipe out humanity. Sure, nature has a few tricks up her sleeve (I'm looking at you, Yellowstone National Park) but we've for the most part limited our self-destruction to non-human-race-ending mechanisms. That is, until the bomb. No, not the classic Nintendo game Bomberman 64 - nor Bomberman Ultra, nor Bomberman Jetters, Bomberman Generation, Bomberman Hero, Bomberman Quest or... well, any of the Bomberman series that's put together in the 40 minute YouTube clip about the series' history. I mean the atomic bomb, the one that is capable of knocking out cities and irradiating what it doesn't flatten. The kind of bombs that the world had 60,000 of at one time, and still has well over 10,000. It wouldn't be the blast that would kill the Earth - more so, it would the the drastic changes it atmosphere. Think of global warming, but sped up, but only after a nuclear winter. Similar to volcanoes, dust would cloud the sky and block out the sun, lowering the Earth's temperature enough to cause crop yields to drop, leading to horrible famines. It would also knock out the o-zone, which, if you haven't been listening to the news lately, is really nothing but a negative. 

So how did we come to possess these weapons, and why?

Robert Oppenheimer with Albert Einstein, working
diligently on a crossword puzzle.

In Germany, 1938, scientists discovered they could split the nucleus in the uranium atom - discovering fission. Out of a very small amount of material, they could now produce an absolutely enormous amount of energy. Out of that information, the Allied countries feared that the Nazis were on the verge of creating an atomic bomb. Nazi atomic bombs is about as fear-inducing a stretch of words that could be said while on the brink of a world war. (It would also make a great band name!) Even the U.S., despite not entering the war for some time, were wary of this. Any major power with an unmatched weapon is going to cause an alarm. Right away, Roosevelt authorized a project to get down and dirty with uranium in an attempt to get that bomb before anyone else could. He tasks General Leslie Groves to do this, although it seemed at the time like an impossible task, and perhaps a bit of a career killer. Regardless, Groves then scoured the U.S. in an attempt to round up the best scientists America had to offer, choosing to place Robert Oppenheimer at the helm. It was a team of America's best and brightest, with the average age being... wait, 25?! Groves must have chosen the scientists like television would have cast them - choose mid-twenty year olds regardless of whether it makes sense or not.

Originally thought to be a picture taken within the first
few milliseconds of the Trinity Test, this photo has
been proven to be a pimple.

They took the team of scientists and sent them to Los Alamos, a place built for them to work on the bomb in solitude. The British sent over a number of scientists as well, one of them a German-born communist by the name of Klaus Fuchs. (Remember him for future blogs; I'll likely make a pun on his last name.) They had to be isolated and completely in secret because any slip of information could turn the tide of the whole war. Communication with the outside world was minimal, as there had to be no distractions. This is where the this rag-tag bunch of youngsters begin to build what they refer to only as "the gadget" - the bomb's blueprint and shell, as well as the method in which it detonates. After a while, they figured out how it would work but they had one major hang-up; what are they going to put in it that was actually going to explode?

What they used to drop the bomb in the Trinity
Test. The clouds, sensing the danger, are
bidding a hasty retreat.

It was no easy task; fuel for these explosions was not very easy to come by. Uranium was the prime candidate, but it takes a very long time to strip what you need from it to make it useable. Naturally occurring uranium doesn't cut it (because science) and you need this special kind of uranium that is within regular uranium. Or something. Again, science. Anyways, Groves had a giant complex built to extract it but when you're getting this stuff one atom at a time, it wasn't going to be able to destroy anything any time soon - even if you only needed a few pounds of it. Out of luck on that front, they searched for a new substance to replace uranium and arrived at the more spacey sounding plutonium, which would serve the same explosive purpose. However, plutonium can be manufactured (harvested? created? conjured? I'm not sure how plutonium comes to be) much faster, so Groves went and had another set of buildings created to produce plutonium instead. Remember that this is wartime here; if something needs to get done, it gets done. Cost is irrelevant. It's like giving a credit card to a teenage girl in a shopping mall; you're going to have a lot more things, a lot less money, and you're not entirely sure if you need any of it.

The bomb was created and ready for testing after three years and two billion dollars (but old two billion dollars, so think of a much larger number to convert it to modern day currency, then add a zero). The Trinity Test was the first run at a nuclear bomb, and it was hoisted up a short drop from the ground - notably without the explosive inside (they had mattresses underneath it in case it fell - the whole operation costs billions and they use the same method of cushioning that boys use to practice backflips as teenagers). They then brought in the plutonium, delivered by car in the most casual fashion, and placed the explosive material inside. They retreated to a safe distance and ran the test.

From there, they watched a monumental moment in history. Now, I know, I know, that's a cliche - but if ever there's a time to use it it's then. The atomic age was upon them in a massive blast of ash and fire, and from then on war would never be the same.

The Battle of Stalingrad

It's dangerous talking about the World Wars. Generally speaking it's relatively safe to talk about relatively obscure historical topics (the Dionne Quintuplets, The Plains of Abraham, Louis Riel... well, anything Canadian really) because it's rare that you're going to bump into anyone who knows them well enough to correct you on anything. However, the World Wars are popular enough of a topic to not quite be able to sneak past a mistake or two - not saying that there will be any here... but I'm also certainly not saying there won't be. Because of this, I'm going to be really throwing a full fledged statistic barrage in this blog, because the numbers at the very least will tell the truth. I guess I'm saying something about this blog in that I clearly fear being corrected more than being wrong, but I digress.

A street fight much more intimidating
than those in West Side Story.

The book I read on the topic was Stalingrad: The Battle That Shattered Hitler's Dreams of World Domination. It was well worth the five dollars I spent on it at Chapters while killing time until my birthday in which I would inevitably receive a book or two (you're up next, Canada's national dream of building a transcontinental railway!).

Here's the funny thing about Stalingrad. As far as priority targets go, this one was pretty far down the list. The Germans didn't really need it, and it was more of a "take it if you get the chance" type mission for the generals. There's a good chance they wanted it to prevent reinforcements from Stalingrad to disrupt their forces, sure, but it certainly wasn't a be-all-end-all type city for Russia. A possible reason for the mistakenly high priority was the name itself - defeating Stalingrad would serve as a moral blow to the Russian forces (hint: the name Stalin is in the name Stalingrad). Regardless, they thought it was a good idea to sack the city, but when their first attempt failed, they sent in reinforcements... which failed. Naturally, they would - guess what? - send in more reinforcements. The Russians would in turn respond with more troops, which the other side required more troops to kill those ones. You can see how this builds on each other. All in all, the end result was two kids playing Bloody Knuckles in junior high with both parties being too full of pride to quit and let the other win - except this time the stakes were the lives of millions in what would be one of the most horrible places to be in the entire world.

Russians defending what are already absolutely
annihilated buildings - or it's just how Russia looks.

On one side there was the big Russian kid who wouldn't let the German one on his playground. Stalin instituted the "Not One Step Back" policy for the defenders of Stalingrad, meaning you don't retreat, you don't surrender, and if you're giving an inch of grounds to the Germans you had best be dead, or else they would help you get there. How they managed to put this into action was having a full line of Russian soldiers on the perimeter with a roving, smaller set of men behind them armed with machine guns. If the Russians attempted to retreat - or deemed not fighting hard enough, I kid you not - they would fire on their own men, mowing them down with machine gun fire. Those that survived would be put into "Punishment Companies", which were basically impossible suicide missions that would earn you back your pride. This included high risk areas or walking through minefields to set off the explosives - again, I am quite serious. 422,000 soldiers were placed in these companies in what was the single most vicious form of quality control of all time.

I forgot to mention, they also bombed the place into oblivion.

Inside the city the civilians didn't fare much better. Stalin wanted to keep up appearances, and the idea of having civilians evacuate meant that they were accepting that there was a chance that Stalingrad might fall. This meant that the majority of men, women and children were not allowed to exit, and those that did were shot. The civilians would have to dig tank trenches, build defensive fortifications, or join the Worker Militia Battalion, a poorly equipped force that didn't have enough guns to properly supply their numbers. The logic was they would be sent at the Germans, sometimes two people to a gun. If the man you're following dies, you pick his gun up and shoot things with it, preferably a German.

Regardless of all the extra forces, extreme tactics or tough-as-nails Russian women and children digging trenches, the Germans were still advancing and making their way into the city itself. This meant that the Germans were moving house to house in an unfamiliar urban warfare style. They called it "Rattenkreig", meaning "rat warfare". Death was quite literally around the corner - they would toss a grenade into a room, move in, check if it's clear, and move out. Rinse and repeat. It was terrifying, nervy work.

The Germans were under the impression they were basically going to roll through Russia pretty well unopposed, and for the most part that is how the war on the eastern front began. They would capture so many prisoners and win so many battles, but the Russian forces would resupply and send in more men from what was seemingly an endless supply. Massive losses were irrelevant. They were essentially the "zerg" from the Starcraft franchise. The reason why the superior numbers were not instantly winning was mostly due to inferior tactics and decision making, as well as having technology that was behind the German capabilities. So naturally, when you're getting kicked around by a superior fighter, you adopt his tactics. The Russians decided they were to turn a German warfare staple into their own, and shock the Nazis with a massive force. With tanks moving past the infantry and destined to penetrate deep into enemy lines, they intended to attack with speed - lightning speed. The Russians were going to Blitzkrieg the Nazis.

A modern day picture of "Pavlov's House",
a fortified apartment in which the
Russian forces defended mightily. It
says "We will rebuild you, dear
Stalingrad!"... and they did, just forgetting
to paint it the same colour.

The Russians started forming a massive force; 13,000 guns, 894 tanks, 1,150 aircraft and a million infantry men. They bombarded the German line suddenly, tearing through them and placing them so quickly on the defensive they did not have the time to react. The result of the Blitzkrieg was a massive amount of trapped German troops - 220,000 to be exact. The Russians encircled them, cut off their supply, and waited. Supplies were brought in from the Luftwaffe, but flying past the Russians made it a hugely dangerous and often ineffective mission. The Germans were low on ammunition, didn't have enough fuel for their tanks, and were hungry, cold and fearful in the Russian winter. Conditions became about as bad as you could imagine, and an outbreak of sudden, inexplicable deaths occurred. Men that would be fine - well, at least relatively fine, considering - would die on the spot just a few hours later. Moral dropped as they awaited rescue that would be almost impossible.

The Russians offered surrender, to which the Germans refused. They began to be cut down, although held out surprisingly well considering the situation. A second offer of surrender was taken, but being a German prisoner to a bunch of Russians that you were previously attacking is arguably worse. The 111,465 men that were taken were put to work rebuilding Stalingrad, only half of them surviving to spring. Only 5,000 of them would ever see Germany again. The Russians were incredibly vengeful, and understandably so.

So the battle is over, the Germans defeated after an incredible Blitzkrieg maneuver by the Russians, but the victory is difficult to claim. 200,000 Russian civilians died, with another 13,541 being executed by the Russians themselves for conspiracy to help the Germans. The Red Army fared no better; 478,471 were killed, with another 650,878 injured. On the German side, 750,000 were killed, wounded or taken prisoner, effectively ruining a massive part of the Nazi force in attempting to take just one rather insignificant city.

It makes you wonder how the war would have gone if it was still named Tsaritsyn, having changed it's name to Stalingrad in 1925. Oh, and it's called Volgograd now by the way. Russians just can't keep city names.

Famous Historical Figures Say the Darndest Things!

1. "From above, it was very well visible to the pilots, that civilians were waiting on the shore. Many times we saw enemy pilots acting as professional assassins. They opened fire on the unarmed women and children and selected targets so as to maximize the number of people killed. The pilots dropped bombs in a crowd at the moment they were beginning to board a boat, fired at the decks of the boats, and bombed islands on which hundreds of wounded had accumulated. The people crossed the river not only on boats and barges. They sailed on overcrowded boats, even on logs, barrels, and boards bound with wire. And the Fascists opened fire from the air on each floating target. They were massacring people." A quote on the atrocities committed by the Nazis on the Russian civilian population. It went both ways.
2. "The 6th Army is temporarily surrounded by Russian forces. I know the 6th Army and your commander in chief and have no doubt that in this difficult situation it will hold on bravely. The 6th Army must know that I am doing everything to relieve them. I will issue my orders in good time." - Hitler's message to the trapped 6th Army.
3. "The bitter frost, the cold biting winds and the snowstorms have yet to come. Your men have not been supplied with winter uniforms, and live in appalling unhygienic conditions. You as the commander must realize full well that you have no real chance of breaking out of the ring of encirclement. Your situation is hopeless and further resistance is useless." A Russian message sent to the trapped German forces, suggesting surrender. 

Russian Conspiracy Theories Since Putin

I don't know if I should even put a caption on these.
They kind of speak for themselves.

Having just read "The Man Without a Face: The Unlikely Rise of Vladamir Putin" I have come to a number of conclusions. One, that Putin is a terrifying man that has caused the deaths of a great number of people. Two, that I do not wish to live in Russia. In all fairness I knew the later before I began to read the book.

The purpose of this entry is to go over a few of the most ridiculous happenings since or just prior to Putin coming to office. Perhaps I shouldn't have used the title conspiracy theories when writing about it because the word "conspiracy" has the negative connotations associated with it that are often placed with lunatic "9/11 was secretly aliens" types that earn the word its standing. These are more Russian coverups that are shockingly poorly covered up. It's like when I throw a blanket over my dog - he thinks he's hiding, but we all know he's right there. Then we kind of laugh when he bumps into things. It's not a perfect metaphor.

Apartment Bombings:

This is him in his KGB days.
Oh, did I mention he was
in the KGB?

Just before Putin was elected into office, a number of attacks on Russian citizens occurred through the use of explosives in apartment buildings. Having seen this a few times already, the Russian population began to be a little more weary of scary types carting around explosives - at least more than one should reasonably expect in Russia. One night, a bus driver for a local soccer team in the town of Ryazan saw three men carrying large sacks labeled as sugar into the basement of his building. Four buildings had already been destroyed, and fearing the worst, the man called the local police who came to investigate (they arrived fourty five minutes later, but they showed up, so good for them.) Surprise surprise, the sacks were actually full of explosives with wires and a clock that could be seen through the slits of the top of the bag. The apartment was then evacuated and the bomb squad was called.

People were forced from their houses in the early hours of the morning and left out in the unforgiving elements of Russia while the bomb squad determined the explosives to be hexogen, powerful explosive popular in WWII times. The bomb was then dismantled, and the search for the men that had placed the bombs began (the man who called the police had a decent description) and the people went back to their homes, presumedly cursing "just another day in Russia". Oh, and meanwhile, a number of the apartment buildings were robbed. So that's not so great.

A president. This is an actual photo of a president.

Here's where things get a little messy. The media was originally painting the people of Chechnya to be the terrorists, as Russia has had an ongoing beef with them. However, the men that planted the explosives were members of the FSB (think FBI, but not really, but close enough). To dismiss the idea that it was an inside job, the Russian government released a statement claiming that it was all just a practice run, and that the "sugar" really was just sugar after all. The tests that said it was hexogen? That was all just because of faulty equipment that skewed the results from already using it on explosives before. Throwing all the civilians out into the night? That's all just part of procedure. The policemen of Ryazan at first confirming that there were definitely explosives? Well, they later recanted their statements.

To top it off, there was a news show that did a story on the bombings while remaining as pro-government as possible (this is definitely in their best interest.) They invited the people of the would-be bombed apartment to join in the crowd. All of them were quite vocal on how it was certainly not a training exercise, save for one man who spoke to the contrary. That's when the whole of the crowd shouted down the man, saying he wasn't living in the apartment and they had never seen him before in their lives. Seriously, as far as cover ups go... 6/10.

Now you must be wondering why the government would ever want to do this to their own people. The answer lies in the fact that they wanted a reason to storm Chechnya that would be acceptable to the rest of the world and promoted in their own country. In addition to that, for Putin to be elected, the country of Russia needed to look like they needed a strong hand. In that case, Putin was surely the man for the job, and he would be elected to take care of business.

Moscow Theatre Hostage Crisis

This one is half conspiracy theory and half massive failure on behalf of Russian planning. Some four hundred or so people were taken hostage in a theatre in Moscow by a number of Chechnyan terrorists. Their demands were pretty straightforward - have Putin officially declare peace with Chechnya. The Russian response was bombing the whole place with gas, knocking out the terrorists, and killing them while unconscious.

Now he's in a race car...

Here's where it gets messy (as if that wasn't messy enough.) The hostages had been dehydrated and hungry for quite some time already, and getting gassed takes a toll on the body regardless, so mixed with their current state it basically amplified how hard they were going to get hit. Basically what that means is puking. Lots of puking. Now, if your buddies are having a terrible night of drinking and pass out on the bathroom floor, how are you not supposed to put them? Flat on their back. The reason for this is if they puke, they're going to choke to death on their own vomit. Sadly, in a horrific and unnecessary loss of human life, 129 people died in this manner by the assault force not knowing exactly what to do with the sick as they transported them to hospitals. 129 dead, chocking on their own vomit while unconscious because the military men stepping in were unaware of how to properly care for them. The way this was shown on the news was as a tremendous victory. Pictures of the slaughtered terrorists were thrown up on the television as if no innocent had died that day.

Now where things get interesting is the gas doesn't knock you out immediately. It takes a good five or so minutes before everyone falls unconscious. One would think that if this were the case the terrorists would have obviously known they were about to be stormed and detonated their explosives. However, no explosions went off, and they eventually passed out and later killed. As it turns out, the terrorists didn't actually have any real explosives - it was all just fake dynamite vests. That means that all those that died that day had died for absolutely nothing. This information had come from, oddly enough, one of the terrorists himself. Terkibaev, one of the men in the theatre, had managed to escape just before the gas hit. In an interview, he claimed he was working for Moscow - then sometime later he was killed in a car wreck. It's difficult to assess if he's telling the truth or not, but it doesn't change the manner in which they approached the situation. It was a colossal failure and presented as a hardline stance against terrorism where the Russian government stands unshaken.

Assassinations: 

...but that wasn't enough, so he hopped in a fighter jet!
I know these pictures aren't really related, but they're
so gosh darn awesome I have to put them in here.

There were some that investigated the Theatre Crisis. Sergei Yushenkov, who passed along information to Anna Politkovskaya about Terkibaev, was assassinated. Politkovskaya was later poisoned. Alexander Litvinenko, a third person who originally informed Yushenkov about the whole ordeal, was also poisoned, but in a way that so clearly shows high level government involvement it's practically broadcasting it on television.

Polonium-210 was found in the body of Litvinenko, a former FSB agent who had also accused the FSB of ordering the death of Boris Berezovsky, one of the richest men in Russia when he was alive - there really are a lot of murders, and it's hard to keep up with all the names. Anyways, Polonium-210 is manufactured only in Russia. It's export is very carefully controlled by the federal nuclear authorities and only top level intervention from the government would allow for it to be taken - and by top level I mean the office of the President. So... this outspoken opponent of Putin whose associates had been murdered or poisoned died from a chemical only allowed to be administered by Vladamir himself...

I mean come on.

Famous Historical Figures Say the Darndest Things!

1. "I think the time has come to say a few words to the man responsible for my current condition. You may be able to force me to stay quiet, but this silence will come at a price to you. You may be able to force me to stay quiet, but this silence will come at a price to you. You have now proved that you are exactly the ruthless barbarian your harshest critics made you out to be. You have demonstrated that you have no respect for human life, liberty, or other values of civilization. You have shown that you do not deserve to hold your post, and you do not deserve the trust of civilized people. You may be able to shut one man up, but the noise of protest all over the world will reverberate in your ears, Mr. Putin, to the end of your life. May God forgive you for what you have done, not only to me but to my beloved Russia and her people." The poisoned Litvinenko's parting words. 
2. "If you are ready to become a radical adherent to Islam and you are ready to be circumcised, I invite you to come to Moscow. We are a country of many faiths. We have specialists in this. I will recommend that the operation be performed in such a way that nothing will ever grow there again." Putin's response to a reporter questioning him. He doesn't really hold back.
3. "We will hunt them down. Wherever we find them, we will destroy them. Even if we find them in the toilet. We will rub them out in the outhouse." This is Putin's hardline stance against terrorists. Personally I believe the last line to be kind of funny out of context, but that's mostly because I'm a child.

Tsar Nicholas II

While Tsardom (I'm so excited that's a word) officially ended in 1721, Russian autocrats, emperors, and what have you were still given the title of Tsar. Nicholas II was the last of these such rulers, his reign lasting from 1894-1917. Overall Russia under his leadership was... well, let's just say it got kinda rocky.
Nicholas II was born into the Romanov family, the then leading dynasty of Russia. He became Tsesarevich (essentially the heir) after his grandfather was assassinated. Thrown into the rather terrifying world of Russia at the beginning of the 20th century, he survived his own assassination attempt in 1891 in Japan. Right from the beginning, there were at least some people out for poor Nicky's head. From this brief introduction alone, I bet you can guess that the fate of this Tsar ends in blood. Probably some vodka as well, as it is Russia, after all.

The Tsar and his wife. She... she doesn't
look that into it.

However, being a young man, he had still a strong interest in the opposite sex despite people trying to kill him and whatnot. At his coming of age ceremony at the age of sixteen, he found himself interested in Alix of Hesse-Darmstadt - this is seemingly all well and good, but she was twelve, which makes it a little awkward looking back on it. Age wasn't what stood between them, though (although I'd understand if it did...) - the problem was Alix was a devout Lutheran and refused to convert to Nicholas' Russian Orthodoxy. He later proposed but she denied him, but was later convinced that it was her duty. Oh, young love.

The Tsar in power at the time and the father of Nicholas, Alexander III, was very sick during this period. It became apparent that soon the Tsardom will fall into the hands of Nicholas, despite the fact that he was rather ill-prepared. Alexander provided little guidance for the role, believing Nicholas to not yet be ready to take on responsibility while he was in good health. As a result, after Alexander's death, Nicholas was twenty six years old and horribly unprepared. Nicholas took the throne, and in spite of the lack of experience and responsibility in his life, he demanded full autocratic rule, denying any attempts at a constitutional monarchy that a number of peasants were suggesting. It's basically the same mentality for spoiled rich kids in modern day, except with pant-loads of power. Right from the coronation ceremony, things started going down hill for Russia.

If only the Tsar's leadership
was as high quality as his
moustache.

Through a ceremony held in the Kremlin, Nicholas became the Tsar officially. He held a festival with free food and beer some distance away in the Khodynka, a field outside Mosco. This seems all well and good, but there were some problems with the field - and the organization. The field was a training ground for the military, making it uneven and rocky. Unfortunately, not enough food or booze was brought to the ceremony - a cardinal sin for any party. This caused the 100,000 in attendance to really, really want their fair share of free food, resulting in 1,389 dead and 1,300 injured from trampling and suffocation in what is truly a low moment in human history when you get right down to it. In fairness to Nicholas II, he intended to may his respects to those who died but was called away to an important meeting with a French ambassador. Regardless, it reflected very poorly on him in the eyes of the public.

So day one for the new Tsar didn't start off so well, and in fact kicked off about as poorly as one could have ever expected. And if only it had stopped there... In all fairness, Russia is a very big country, and with big countries there's quite literally a lot more room for things to go wrong. Being big wasn't just enough either - Russia wanted to be bigger, and secure their footholds in the eastern portion of their land. Unfortunately, this was in opposition to the Japanese, who were much smaller but feisty like nobody's business. Japan wanted China and mainland Asia, and they wanted it badly enough to surprise attack the Russian military. The Russians called back their fleet (who was stationed around Europe at the time) and through a series of what wikipedia defines as "misadventures" their ships were annihilated. You see, being big isn't always a good thing - the ships were far, and the in the trip they were picked off by the Japanese and things went downhill. Sending units by land didn't help much either, as the transportation was poor as, lets not forget, Russia is freaking huge. The Tsar was eventually forced into calling for peace after a massive amount of losses in a terrible war. But things couldn't get much worse...

The most successful military campaign of Tsar Nicholas II:
the defeat of the peaceful protestors at Bloody Sunday.

...Except for when things got drastically worse. In 1905, a group consisting of 120,000 displeased but peaceful Russian protestors marched on the Winter Palace in an attempt to bring about some change in the way the country was being run. Apparently, they were actually singing hymns of "God save the Tsar" along the way, making it about as peaceful as a six figure mob can be. Fearing the worst, the military lined up and confronted the people. In a horrible event that killed 92 civilians and wounded several hundred, the military opened fire unprovoked. It would later be named "Bloody Sunday", after the song by U2 - or the other way around. Historians are uncertain.

Now, to continue this blog I have to make a point. The main purpose of these write-ups is to basically get the gist. It's not meant to be a flawless historical analysis of events, but instead a casual summary. Basically enough to answer a Jeopardy question if it comes along. While I plan on writing a blog just about why I blog these things, for now you simply need to know this - the next part is rather long and tedious, and I'm essentially taking a summary and summarizing on top of that. It's the gist of the gist.

The revolutions begin! There were a number of problems that led to the Russian Revolution of 1905 - the nationality problem, in the sense that the a number of the Tsar's anti-semetic attitudes caused some discontent among, well, the Jews. There was also severe famine which was in turn caused by a horrible economy due to the failure in the war - prices for food skyrocketed. The educated were also turning against the Tsar, and education typically goes hand in hand with power. The Tsar also introduced prohibition in an attempt to up patriotism and productivity for the war effort. However, this took a massive toll on the treasury as the alcohol could no longer be taxed. Also, you took away vodka from Russia - just not a good idea. All of these factors forced the Tsar into the creation of the Duma, basically an advisory board that introduced some basic civil liberties. However, lets not forget Nicholas really was stuck in the whole autocrat thing, so he had some issues with giving up the power to these Dumas. A number of them were made, a number dissolved, and... well, they were mostly unsuccessful, all in all.

To add to the increasingly self-destructive country, the world was on the brink of war. Despite both Germany and Russia not being particularly eager to fight each other (Russia being in horrifying disrepair and Germany not wanting to go to war with the sheer volume of soldiers at their disposal) Russia entered the war, woefully unprepared. While their armies numbered in the millions, a lack of supplies, poor transportation and what would soon be massive casualties caused increasing discontent in the people. They frequently lost battles to Germany, and their losses accounted for 1/3rd of the total military deaths in WW1.

 Demonstrating his leadership qualities
as the Tsar, Nicholas allowed this man,
Rasputin, near his wife and children.

At home the situation fared hardly better. Political unrest continued, and Nicholas II, near the warfront, was cut off from public opinion. On top of that, rumours were spread about the interference (and possible affair) of Alix with Grigori Rasputin. Rasputin. Rasputin became close with Alexandra after she became convinced he was a starets, meaning a mystic of some sorts, after his healing of their young hemophiliac heir to the throne. Rasputin later met his end at the hand of some Russian nobles, which seems to be one of few parts of his story that seems to be actually agreed upon by historians. The man is completely shrouded in mystery. He also seemed like kind of a pervert.

With the military poorly supplied (and rapidly dying), the economy in shambles and peaked political unrest, eventually the crap hit the fan. Everyone revolted, including the military, pillaging political buildings and torching police offices. In the wake of the revolution, Nicholas was finally forced to abdicate the throne. However, this wasn't just one of those cases where you say "well, I'm done and did a pretty crappy job, so I'll be walking out of here now." The Tsar cost the lives of hundreds of thousands of Russians, and the people wanted their vengeance. The Bolsheviks, essentially the working class of Russia, overthrew the impromptu provisional government created to temporarily replace Nicholas, and went out for blood. Eventually, they found the former Tsar and murdered him and the entire Romanov family.

Famous Historical Figures Say the Darndest Things!

1. "I want everyone to know that I will devote all my strength to maintain, for the good of the whole nation, the principle of absolute autocracy..." Oh boy. Let me paraphrase. "For your own good, I'm going to run things by myself.
2. "Difficult day! In St. Petersburg there were serious disturbances due to the desire of workers to get to the Winter Palace. The troops had to shoot in different places of the city, there were many dead and wounded. Lord, how painful and bad!" This is from the Tsar's diary after Bloody Sunday. 
3. "The innocent blood of workers, their wives and children lies forever between you and the Russian people... may all the blood which would be spilled fall upon you, you Hangman." The words of the leader of the Bloody Sunday protest. He as well believed it to be a "difficult day."
4. "God has seen your tears and heard your prayers. Do not grieve. The Little One will not die. Do not allow doctors to bother him too much." Rasputin, upon meeting the hemophiliac son of the Tsar.
5. "...The Presidium of the Ural Regional Soviet, fulfilling the will of the Revolution, resolved to shoot the former Tsar, Nikolai Romanov, who is guilty of countless, bloody, violent acts against the Russian people." Now that just about sums it up.