The Three Cousins of WW1: Part 3 - The King

"The sun never sets on the British Empire" isn't just boasting (and even in 2018, although just barely, still rings true). At its peak the British Empire covered almost 24% of the globe. Considering England is less than 1/5th the size of Alberta (the United Kingdom is still only about a third) it's

Queen Victoria possessed an ability
to say "I am utterly disappointed in you"
expressed entirely in her scowl.

really an incredible, seemingly impossible feat. Of course, a leader must be named for this quarter of the world. George Frederick Ernest Albert, King of the United Kingdom and the British Dominions, and Emperor of India was that man. As a child, Queen Victoria once described him as "very small and not very pretty." I do not believe that was included in his title.

George was born into a time when the British sat firmly on the throne of the world, even notably above the rest of the European kingdoms. Rich, powerful, and owning a massive chunk of the Earth, who could say they weren't? At the helm of the imperial ship, their leadership was changing towards more of a democratic style. The queen, while technically in her figurehead status, was still of tremendous importance in foreign affairs, especially when royalty was concerned (so, almost always, I assume). The British played right into the stereotypes we imagine by still being so concerned with appearances and tradition that if the queen said something it was bound to get done. This is the world George inherited, just prior to the war; one where his powers are strong, but the guidelines and borders on can and cannot are confusing and muddled.

Fortunately for him, he was never really that interested in inheriting it. High society held little appeal to him and he dreaded going out and doing the whole British song and dance, which was every bit as

King George. As a boy.
Boy George.

formal and completely devoid of enjoyment as one would expect from British royalty. He much prefered stamp collecting and shooting in his free time, not quite shirking his duties as a royal but certainly not being that interested in them. (His two cousins, Wilhelm and Nicholas, were also obsessed with shooting. Wilhelm recorded all his wildlife kills, and by the time 1897 came around he had bagged 33,967. Add "Scourge of Mother Nature" to Wilhelm's many titles, I guess.)

George's distaste for society even stretched into his relationships. His marriage in particular was about as strange as they come. They would hardly speak, not seemingly out of hatred for each other but awkwardness, opting instead to send letters that would be expressing his love for her. Sort of like a far too intimate pen-pal relationship. Of the rest of his family he was cold and demanding, not acting much better to his children than his wife. His epileptic, possibly autistic child who died at the age of thirteen he openly resented, saying after his death that he was "more of an animal than anything else."

But being a jerk and a hermit (a stamp collecting, gun toting loner sounds like a description of a shooter in the modern day, really) doesn't prevent you from inheriting the throne. His father, Edward, was clearly not long for the world when he took the throne around the turn of the century. Somehow, his habits of gorging at mealtime and smoking like a chimney caught up to him. Doctors warned of his coming demise but the only change he was willing to make was to only have two cigars before breakfast.

King George's hair was drawn by
only the finest of Sharpies.

Rather predictably, Edward died in 1910, leaving the poorly educated, frequently nervous, often self-pitying George to take over. Quite quickly the British parliamentary powers, elected or not, realized that George might not have been the brightest bulb. He would demand things to happen and his requests were often ignored or put aside. In the events leading up to the war, he would often have to spearhead negotiations with the frequently volatile and threatening Wilhelm but his talks would most often amount to nothing.

Here's the kicker. It was George's distaste for leadership that ultimately saved the monarchy. During and after the war, he didn't seem to mind all that much when others took over for him, solidifying the monarchy as the figurehead position it is today. I'll go more into detail on how this happened soon, but here's just a taste for how he reacted when Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated. Visibly upset, he complained to his son (the living one he didn't refer to as an animal) that he would miss a weekend of sailing.

Monarchies... Incredible. But let's go celebrate another royal wedding.