The Byzantine Empire: Part 2 - Barbarians Knock at the Door

An artist's incorrect depiction
of Julian the Apostate's fate,
apparently mixing him up with
another emperor. So not only is it
wrong, but it looks hilarious.
0/2, ancient Roman artist.

363-491

It's been a bit of a shaky start. Brothers fighting brothers, plenty of infighting, and some poor leadership is causing some troubles for the Byzantines. Unfortunately, it's about to get a heck of a lot worse. A streak of crappy emperors caused a number of difficulties at a time where they needed leadership the most. The worst in particular was Julian the Apostate's immediate successor, only eight months after his passing, left a brazier burning in his sleeping tent and suffocated himself to death. Another would die of a rage-induced brain aneurysm. If only he had Homer Simpson's soothing ocean noises.

What they really could have used a decent emperor for was the massive influx of barbarians looking not to raid but to settle. Terrified of the rampaging Huns, the Germanic tribes simply wished to move elsewhere and join the Romans (I'll try my best to refer to the Western Roman Empire as the Romans and the Eastern Roman Empire as the Byzantines). With 200,000 at their doorstep and promising military support, the empire welcomed in the refugee Ostrogoths and Visigoths - but not particularly nicely. Many were starved, kidnapped or sold into slavery, and being barbarians, weren't particularly keen on going through the official channels and lobbying for support, decided to do what barbarians do best. They revolted.

The Visigoths sacking Rome in the
most uncomfortable and awkward
way imaginable. 

The empire did its best to stifle them and set out to put a swift, violent end to the revolution, but found that the barbarians were more than a match. The soldiers were slaughtered, and the loss paved the way for even more barbarians to flood into the territory. Traditionally, the empire has been fine with either immigrants or the civilians of takeovers. It just means a larger empire. However, the problem with the barbarians is their abject refusal to assimilate into their culture, causing a distinct divide between the barbarians and the Romans. They started to make their way into government positions, the army, and pretty well every facet of everyday life. One particularly important member of the barbarians was the half Vandal general Stilicho.

Stilicho was actually a fairly loyal soldier, but due to his half Vandal status he was looked upon with distrust. So when the Visigoth king Alaric unites his men and plans to attack Rome (he was originally attacking the east, but the Eastern Roman Empire convinced him to slip past and attack the West) Stilicho suggests they pay him off as they didn't have the army to fight him. For this, the rather incompetent Western emperor Honorius had him executed - only to find out that he was correct as the Visigoths then attack and invade Rome and pillages the place. Upon hearing about this, Constantinople builds a massive wall fourty feet high and sixteen feet thick out of fear of invasion - walls that would stand until the very empire would fall.

Leo, likely created immediately after hearing
how poorly his brother in law has fought, which
explains the bug-eyed look and tight-lipped
disapproval. 

By now the west was in desperate need of assistance in purging their lands of the barbarian menace, but no help would be coming from the east. The barbarians were the ones really in power, holding the emperor as more of an official, puppet position. Out east, in a similar fashion, the barbarian general Aspar placed a puppet leader named Leo to sit in the seat as emperor, thinking that he would be a weak man whom he could easily control. Little did he know he had a spark. Accusing Aspar's son of treason, he lowered the barbarian general's position and gathered an army of his own to garner power, effectively retaking the east in more than just name alone. To support the west, he attacked the Vandals in North Africa to hopefully damage the barbarian force enough to allow the west to rise up once more.

It was a sound plan, but - typical Roman nepotism! - he placed his brother in law Basiliscus in charge who by all accounts was a massive catastrophe of not only a general but as a person. He panicked and left after some of his ships crashed upon the shore, causing chaos and confusion in his ranks which resulted in a massive rout of the invasion force. Leo was convinced not to kill him and instead put him in exile, but that's not all he had in store. Basiliscus' sister Verina tricked Zeno (the son in law of Leo who took over in his stead) into thinking the people were to revolt against him, making him flee. Verina wanted the throne herself, but seeing as she had no royal blood, guess who they put in charge? Basiliscus! One of his first actions was to - quite brilliantly - have many of the people who helped with the revolt murdered. Further proving his brilliance, he takes one of the generals who helped with the revolt - who just had many of his friends killed by Basiliscus' hand - and sends him to find Zeno and kill him. Naturally, the general turns sides and leads his army back to knock Basiliscus off the throne. While all of this is going on, the barbarians took the rule of the Western Roman Empire, ending it officially. Way to go, Basiliscus.

Oddly enough, in spite of all of this Byzantium comes out OK. Zeno gets the idea of sending the Ostrogoths to take the now barbarian west from the Visigoths, solving two problems at once; the Visigoths were basically wiped from history, and the Ostrogoths can now rule independently, satisfied that they have land and not needing to attack into the east anymore. While the west may have fallen, the barbarian threat was muted, there were no major political enemies, and they didn't lose an ounce of territory. Things have never looked better, and they were on the up and up.