The Byzantine Empire: Part 5 - Crusades and the Fall of Constantinople

1042-1453
Yes, yes, I recognize that 1042-1453 is a long stretch of time, but while Rome wasn't built in a day, Byzantium didn't fall in one either. It went through a slow, painful decline in power through two major issues. The first was the split of the church, through one side believing the west wasn't well represented and the east believing it was fine. The split created the Catholic (universal) and Eastern Orthodox (true) churches, the separation meaning they no longer supported each other. The other major problem - and this one the more violent, scary one - was the rise of the Seljuk Turks. Originally nomadic, they banded together and caught the Muslim world by surprise, taking large sections of territory. They set their sights on the Byzantine Empire, and with the mismanagement of previous emperors and the military being stripped in fear of uprisings, it was right there, ready to be trampled.

The crusaders taking Jerusalem. Upon hearing this news
the Pope proclaimed he was "totally stoked" and was
glad the soldiers could "git 'er done."

With the Turks rampaging across the lands, the Pope needed to do something, and while he wasn't yelling "terrorist!" or forcing people off airplanes, he ignited the western civilizations of Europe in a fervor of anti-Muslim sentiments. With that, the first Crusade was born, and taking up the banner of Christ they went to kill all the non-Christians they could find in the most Christian way they could. But how did Constantinople feel about this? Alexius, the emperor, was wary of the men coming through his lands on the way to attack the Turks. First, they might make the Pope more powerful, thus weakening his own position. Second, that many people coming through the city would need food and hospitality, and not being willing to provide might not work out too well. I'm betting you wouldn't like to be the one to tell a massive number of angry, violent men that they're going to be well fed during their travels.

Saladin: Upon trampling an enemy soldier,
he would shout back at his troops, yelling
"look, no hands!".

Fortunately, they passed through on their way to take Jerusalem, but Alexius was still supposed to send soldiers. The lands were, after all, meant to be returned to Constantinople's influence once they were liberated from the Turks. So, when a massive army was descending upon a number of crusaders, Alexius took his men and ventured out to support them. That was when he came across a man fleeing from the battle who informed Alexius that by the time they arrived all would be lost - so Alexius, not wanting to go fight a war that's already concluded, went back to Constantinople. This is one of those historical "what if?" moments where you have to wonder what would have happened if that man had never escaped. Well... Byzantium would probably still go down, but it would likely be a fair while later.

The reason this was so bad for the empire was the crusaders didn't lose. They fought on valiantly, and as things go with having the advantage of being the defender, they shut themselves off in their fortifications and defeated the superior numbers of the Turks. This destroyed the reputation of the empire, and the crusaders would no longer return the lands to Constantinople, instead keeping them for themselves.

Some time later, the Turks, who had taken the role as vassal states instead of being entirely eliminated, started to rise up again. Under the banner of the great Saladin (so great I've seen him in Age of Empires and the Civilization series - really the benchmark for a top level historical ruler) the Turks stole Jerusalem back and sparked another Crusade against him. The Turks were much more successful this time, however, and the Ottoman Empire was created and running largely unopposed. As for the crusaders that went out to fight them, they also ended up brutalizing Constantinople. Due to infighting between emperors and would-be emperors, one hired the crusaders to get him the crown. They were successful, but discovered he couldn't afford to pay them all that he had promised. As a result, the crusaders rampaged across the city, looting, burning and destroying much of Constantinople. Looking back on it, the crusaders didn't seem to be the holy rollers they claimed to be. Who knew?

With Constantinople in shambles, they soon became a vassal state of the Ottoman Empire. The Ottomans frequently shamed the emperor and his people, forcing them into the indignity of living underfoot. They finally pushed the emperor Manuel II a little too far, forcing them to declare war. The Ottoman army was much, much greater, but they had the walls of Constantinople to protect them and the Turks lacked an adequate navy to attack from the sea. They managed to hold on, and the Mongol, Timur the Lame (what a name to go down in history with) forced them to retreat as he was attacking Ottoman territory. It was good timing, and it gave them a reprieve, but this was grasping at straws and the empire was on the outs.

A statue of the last emperor of the Byzantines. I mean, don't
get me wrong, he fought well and all, but he did just get
a statue of him for having the empire die under his watch.
Just sayin'.

Eventually they returned, and they attacked once more with the emperor Constantine at the helm. While it seemed like they could shield themselves behind the walls of Constantinople forever, the introduction of the cannon spelled the end. The walls were repeatedly bombarded, and while they would restack the rubble during the nighttime, their soldiers were outnumbered ten to one. Regardless, they held on valiantly, turning away advance after advance of the Ottoman troops. Constantine was told to flee as the city was sure to fall, but he chose to stay, rallying the troops and going down with the ship. In what must have been a surprisingly nice moment (considering both sides were displaying the corpses of their enemy outside their walls) the split churches both met in the Hagia Sophia and had a communal service. The speech the emperor gave was more a funeral service than a inspiration.

After 1123 years, the Byzantine Empire fell as the Ottoman troops ransacked and set fire to the city, raping and pillaging everything in sight. The 88th and final emperor charged into battle with his troops and was never seen from again.

The Byzantine Empire: Part 4 - Political Intrigue

800-976
The problem with covering hundreds of years of history is it tends to jump around from wild
successes to massive failures with the flip of a page. Since the previous blog, it's been a little while. Constantinople's power had gone up and down - and, at the beginning of the 9th century, it was just starting to turn around again, this time for the better. The Byzantine empire stumbled upon a number of (literal) gold mines, teaching religion outside of the Latin language helped to solidify ties with their territories, and education began to find importance again. Then came the time of Michael the Drunk - a man whose name tells you almost entirely everything you need to know about him. Almost. What's just as important is he had an uncle who was much smarter and more capable than the frequently inebriated emperor. His uncle would be slated to take the leadership once Michael's death came through either an assassination, an unfortunate drunken tumble down the stairs, or a liver that finally collapsed under the weight of so, so much abuse - or so it seemed. Michael was impressed by a peasant whom he believed was a particularly talented wrestler, and decided that being able to pin someone was a good enough reason to pass the crown on to him. The uncle warned him against this, both because it was obviously ludicrous but also because he didn't trust the wrestler. As it turns out, similar to the rest of his life, he should have listened to his uncle. They were murdered by the would-be successor, and with that the Macedonian dynasty began under the leadership of Basil I. That's assassination one. There are plenty more to come.

There's Basil on the left, wrestling a man. The crowd are all politely watching,
yelling for a suplex, or at the very least, a beheading.

Basil I was a capable leader, but you could say what felled him was karma. He disapproved of the woman his son hoped to take as a wife, and eventually Leo (his son) would take the throne after Basil found an unfortunate death similar in the way to the mob's enemies have "accidents" while out on a hunting trip. Unfortunately for Leo, the wife his father had planned for him wasn't anyone he was interested in. Fortunately for him, his wife died and he was free to marry his longtime mistress of whom Basil disapproved of. This wife also died from a fever. Upon marrying a third wife, she died in childbirth (along with the baby). This means that he would have to marry a fourth woman, but he himself had forbidden the marrying of multiple women in this way, which was a seemingly endless streak of bad luck just piled on by his own doing. So, he slept around outside of marriage a little and had a son whom couldn't be fully recognized as legitimate. It was basically an emperor using the "easier to ask forgiveness than permission" idea. However, avoiding his conundrum with his inability to marry another woman over the graves of his multiple dead wives did little to solve the problem of how a child born outside of marriage would affect his succession. It would take plenty of time with political maneuvering (he was a terrible military leader, but boy could he get his way out of trouble) he managed to get the Pope to recognize his son, and Constantine VII would be set to lead. So to that tally, add another assassination and throw three dead wives in the mix.

Unfortunately, since Constantine VII was only six, he didn't really rule anything, even after Leo died. Leo's uncle, Alexander, who had lived in his shadow long enough took the true role of leadership instead of the title and started to undo much of what Leo had completed. However, after only thirteen months he died while playing a game of polo - perhaps the lamest death of an emperor since the guy who suffocated himself almost immediately after taking hold.  Even then, Constantine VII wouldn't rule. The general Romanus had won the hearts of the people through killing that special number of people to warrant moving up the political ranks, and while he promised to "protect" the emperor, he soon became it himself. He had a large number of sons and it looked like he was going to start a dynasty of his own. But here's the kicker - his favourite son died, and he believed his other ones, well... sucked. So he returns the leadership to the at least sort of rightful Constantine VII (how rightful can you be when pretty much everyone finds their way through assassinations or usurping?). To keep with the tally, that's a polo-related death, a death of a son who would be emperor, and the hundreds of non-important deaths of military campaigns that are always glossed over in the wake of rulers.

Look! There she is, Theophano, poisoning her husband!
I think. How can anyone tell? Maybe that's why it was just a rumour.

Constantine's son, Romanus II, seemed to be following in a similar fashion as the son of Basil I. He didn't like his son's wife, Theophano, but instead of stepping in, he let the marriage happen. A short time later, Basil II was born to Theophano and Romanus II, and within a year, Constantine VII found his end through a fever and Romanus II rose to emperor. In spite of all the deaths passings of the throne, things were going fairly well, specifically because of the general Nicephorus who had recently retaken Crete, a sore spot on the empire that they had lost some time ago. Upon his return, however, he found that Romanus II had been poisoned (another assassination!), leaving their six year old son as the next in line. Theophano (who was dealing with rumours that she did the deed) sent for the general to return to help solidify his rule, and after a fight with a chamberlain who was also vying for power, Nicephorus took the throne and married Theophano.

He was well suited for it; capable and proven in military prowess (which is kind of the Byzantine Empire's man thing, as with most empires) and he proved to be a success. However, he was a successful jerk, and his nephew, Tzimiskes, was growing ever popular. More than that, he was particularly popular with Theophano whom Nicephorus had married, and in a Days of Our Lives-esque betrayal, he was sleeping with her. In a more violent version of Days of Our Lives, Theophano and Tzimiskes brutally murdered Nicephorus, (fourth assassination?!) and took the throne for themselves. By this point Nicephorus was so strongly disliked by the general population, this takeover went about as smoothly as brutal, savage murders could.

Nicephorus: either this is how he
looked, or it's an action figure.
Look at the base at the bottom -
that's so he doesn't fall off your shelf.

Once the dust settled (and soaked up the increasing pools of blood that had been occurring in the empire in the past while) Tzimiskes went on to succeed time and time again in military assaults on the then collapsing Arab caliphate. Upon his return, however, he would prove to be yet another casualty, but this time from the aristocracy. Finding fields and fields of land, he questioned who it belonged to and found that it belonged to Basil Lecapenus. Not fond of the idea of losing his lands or being thrown in jail for what I'm sure was some shady dealing, Lecapenus poisoned the emperor to save his skin. Assassination number five. Whoever was hired as the personal bodyguard of the emperors must be absolutely atrocious at their job.

It was a wild two-hundred years or so. Massive military campaigns, assassinations galore, and more Basils than an over-spiced spaghetti. All in all and in spite of all of that, the Byzantines came out rather strongly. But, that wouldn't last for long. The Crusaders were coming, and the fall of the power of the empire was nigh. So, so nigh.

The Byzantine Empire: Part 3 - Justinian and his General

518-566

In 518 the emperor Justin came in at a time where things were going fairly well. And no, that's not Justinian whom you may have heard of, but rather his uncle, the first of the dynasty. He's probably best known for his nephew Justinian, but who at the time of his birth was named Peter Sabbatius. The emperor saw potential in the boy and gave him the best possible education and advantages, and Peter, never forgetting that, eventually took the name Justinian in recognition of all that his uncle had done for him. Through Justinian's reign Byzantium would see massive amounts of construction, an influx of wealth, a system of laws finally put together properly and at long last some success in wartime. But all that had to be paid for.

Justinian really amped up the taxes, which, true to modern day, angered pretty well close to everyone. In spite of winning land outside their borders (his general Belisarius, who I will show to be one of my new favourite historical figures, was winning fight after fight in Persia) the general population just couldn't stand to be having that kind of money stripped from them. The people got progressively more frustrated until all the anger culminated into a revolt while Justinian was visiting the hippodrome (an arena for horse racing, and to my disappointment, hippo-free). He was forced to flee to his palace, and very well may have been killed were it not for Belisarius who was waiting to be deployed to go clear out the Vandals who had defeated the aggressively stupid Basiliscus not long ago. Belisarius then went to the hippodrome and, as the Roman youth say, kicked their faces in. Except with swords. While there would be no chance at a rebellion of the like again soon, as if you kill all those willing to revolt it tends to leave a very small number willing to give it another go, the idea that the people were so enraged as to rise against him must have shaken Justinian.

The Hagia Sophia is quite the building. I wonder if I could buy
a Belisarius bobblehead there.

He loosened the reigns on the lower class, giving them heavy tax breaks in comparison to what it was like before, but the nobility were not so lucky. Believing that they were hampering him at every turn, he overtaxed the nobility excessively or, more simply, had them murdered. And in the wake of all of this bloodshed...

Another Byzantine golden age! With the treasury overflowing, Justinian builds the massive, beautiful Hagia Sophia, a marvel of architecture and cultural beauty amidst a number of other construction projects. But it wasn't just the home life he was taking care of - he had a few scores to settle, and he had just the man to take care of it.

Sending Belisarius against the Vandals worked brilliantly. They happened to attack at a good time, managing to catch them out of sorts as they were returning from quelling an uprising within their borders. Belisarius pretty well wiped them out entirely, returning the entire treasury and the piles of plunder they had stolen from raids on the empires over the ages. For this he was given the highest honour a general could receive. Of course, this is Belisarius. Belisarius! He wasn't done yet.

Justinian set his sights on retaking the Western Roman Empire, or at least the territory that formerly held that name. Deciding on a two-pronged assault, one general would attack from the north while Belisarius would attack from the south. The gothic king was almost ready to surrender on the spot but was spurred on to battle by the northern general's foolish death (he attacked too recklessly and ended up getting himself killed). The southern advance (of course) was going much better, however. With many supporting the Roman traditions, the doors of Rome flung open without a drop of blood spilled, but there was a distinct problem; he was taking so many cities that his army was all too rapidly losing size. Not because of the losses in battle (there were few) but because with each takeover he had to leave a small garrison behind to secure it. Before long, he was left with a relative skeleton crew of soldiers, and the gothic king who had fled to the city of Ravenna to regroup had noticed that the general's numbers were surprisingly slim. Horribly outnumbered, Belisarius and company held the line against the intruders, but were in desperate need of reinforcements.

This artist must not have liked Justinian,
giving him a rather profound double chin.
He could have gone by "Justinian
the Big Boned".

Back in Constantinople, Justinian felt about Belisarius the way many emperors felt about their successful generals; fearful of the populace getting behind the winning warlord rather than the throne. Justinian did eventually decide to send reinforcements, but with them he sent a man by the name of Nantes to watch over his every action and "help" him lead. Nantes he didn't have to worry about; he couldn't possibly take the throne because he just didn't have the balls for it. (He was a eunuch.) Unfortunately, all this did was split the forces up and as a result they lost a number of battles. Even then, they were still strong enough to push to the gates of Ravenna.

To the surprise and frustration of Belisarius, he was suddenly recalled to Byzantium. Persia was attacking and he had to be there to defend it. Knowing he had to leave almost immediately, he was given an interesting proposal by the gothic king. The king said that if he were to take the crown and restore the Western Roman Empire, the goths would rally behind him. With his standing army and the force of the goths behind him, he would be infinitely more powerful, have an empire of his own to lead, and finally find the recognition he deserves. Obviously, he took the deal - but Belisarius was loyal to a fault, and he used the prospect of taking the crown as a ruse. It wasn't until he was heading back to Byzantium the king realized he had been betrayed. Unfortunately, in spite of the fact that Belisarius had been nothing but infinitely successful and stunningly loyal, this garnered further distrust from Justinian, and more specifically, his wife Theodora.

Upon returning home he was once more sent to battle Persia. While out east, the dreaded black plague struck home and wiped out a massive part of the population, and Justinian himself was struck by the sickness. Belisarius got word of this, and believed Justinian will likely die and thus a new emperor would have to be crowned, it seems like the reins would pass to Theodora, Justinian's wife. His men in particular couldn't stomach having Theodora lead, whom they were not very fond of. His men thought that, since he has found success pretty well everywhere he's gone, that he should be leading. Unfortunately, Theodora heard this rumour and stripped Belisarius of his title and exiled him. After all what he did for the empire, he got pushed aside in disgrace.

Theodora was, apparently, rather babely. What
is the Latin translation for "hubba hubba"?

Meanwhile the empire had completely gone to crap with astounding speed. The plague had crippled the economy, the hold on the west was collapsing due to too many generals running things and fighting amongst themselves, and with the lack of numbers and poor economy Persia was taking land rapidly upon discovering Byzantium's newfound weakness. In addition to battling Persia, they were dealing with an increasingly distressing presence of the Huns who showed up just thirty miles out of Constantinople while the army was out fighting. With barely any men to fight them off and in desperate need of a military mind, Justinian lifts the exile of Belisarius and calls on him one last time. It's essentially the plot for countless movies.

Justinian: "Belisarius... the Huns have arrived. You're the only one that can stop them!"

Belisarius: "But I'm old now - I'm pushing fifty, and that's really old in ancient Byzantine times, or as we call it, present day."

Justinian: "You're the best there is. You have to do it. For the empire, Belisarius!"

*Belisarius looks at a tattered Byzantine standard, and ponders his role in the army.*

Belisarius: "Fine, Justinian. I'll help. But I'm getting too old for this *$%@."

Anyways - in his last heroic stand, Belisarius defeats the Huns outnumbered with a ragtag bunch of soldiers. Afterwards, he went into retirement and faded out of the limelight, a general so great that some of his enemies would surrender just knowing they were to fight him.

If only the emperors that followed the eventual death of Justinian could be so heroic (or at least competent). While they did inherit the throne at a difficult time (an empire too stretched out and poor) their shortsightedness certainly didn't help the situation. Worse yet, a new enemy in the Muslim army came to their doorstep after having rampaged through a weakened Persia. Upon attacking Constantinople, if it wasn't for a tremendous invention of "Greek fire", a kind of persistently burning flamethrower attached to ships (an invention well ahead of its time) it may very well have fallen.

The Byzantine Empire: Part 2 - Barbarians Knock at the Door

An artist's incorrect depiction
of Julian the Apostate's fate,
apparently mixing him up with
another emperor. So not only is it
wrong, but it looks hilarious.
0/2, ancient Roman artist.

363-491

It's been a bit of a shaky start. Brothers fighting brothers, plenty of infighting, and some poor leadership is causing some troubles for the Byzantines. Unfortunately, it's about to get a heck of a lot worse. A streak of crappy emperors caused a number of difficulties at a time where they needed leadership the most. The worst in particular was Julian the Apostate's immediate successor, only eight months after his passing, left a brazier burning in his sleeping tent and suffocated himself to death. Another would die of a rage-induced brain aneurysm. If only he had Homer Simpson's soothing ocean noises.

What they really could have used a decent emperor for was the massive influx of barbarians looking not to raid but to settle. Terrified of the rampaging Huns, the Germanic tribes simply wished to move elsewhere and join the Romans (I'll try my best to refer to the Western Roman Empire as the Romans and the Eastern Roman Empire as the Byzantines). With 200,000 at their doorstep and promising military support, the empire welcomed in the refugee Ostrogoths and Visigoths - but not particularly nicely. Many were starved, kidnapped or sold into slavery, and being barbarians, weren't particularly keen on going through the official channels and lobbying for support, decided to do what barbarians do best. They revolted.

The Visigoths sacking Rome in the
most uncomfortable and awkward
way imaginable. 

The empire did its best to stifle them and set out to put a swift, violent end to the revolution, but found that the barbarians were more than a match. The soldiers were slaughtered, and the loss paved the way for even more barbarians to flood into the territory. Traditionally, the empire has been fine with either immigrants or the civilians of takeovers. It just means a larger empire. However, the problem with the barbarians is their abject refusal to assimilate into their culture, causing a distinct divide between the barbarians and the Romans. They started to make their way into government positions, the army, and pretty well every facet of everyday life. One particularly important member of the barbarians was the half Vandal general Stilicho.

Stilicho was actually a fairly loyal soldier, but due to his half Vandal status he was looked upon with distrust. So when the Visigoth king Alaric unites his men and plans to attack Rome (he was originally attacking the east, but the Eastern Roman Empire convinced him to slip past and attack the West) Stilicho suggests they pay him off as they didn't have the army to fight him. For this, the rather incompetent Western emperor Honorius had him executed - only to find out that he was correct as the Visigoths then attack and invade Rome and pillages the place. Upon hearing about this, Constantinople builds a massive wall fourty feet high and sixteen feet thick out of fear of invasion - walls that would stand until the very empire would fall.

Leo, likely created immediately after hearing
how poorly his brother in law has fought, which
explains the bug-eyed look and tight-lipped
disapproval. 

By now the west was in desperate need of assistance in purging their lands of the barbarian menace, but no help would be coming from the east. The barbarians were the ones really in power, holding the emperor as more of an official, puppet position. Out east, in a similar fashion, the barbarian general Aspar placed a puppet leader named Leo to sit in the seat as emperor, thinking that he would be a weak man whom he could easily control. Little did he know he had a spark. Accusing Aspar's son of treason, he lowered the barbarian general's position and gathered an army of his own to garner power, effectively retaking the east in more than just name alone. To support the west, he attacked the Vandals in North Africa to hopefully damage the barbarian force enough to allow the west to rise up once more.

It was a sound plan, but - typical Roman nepotism! - he placed his brother in law Basiliscus in charge who by all accounts was a massive catastrophe of not only a general but as a person. He panicked and left after some of his ships crashed upon the shore, causing chaos and confusion in his ranks which resulted in a massive rout of the invasion force. Leo was convinced not to kill him and instead put him in exile, but that's not all he had in store. Basiliscus' sister Verina tricked Zeno (the son in law of Leo who took over in his stead) into thinking the people were to revolt against him, making him flee. Verina wanted the throne herself, but seeing as she had no royal blood, guess who they put in charge? Basiliscus! One of his first actions was to - quite brilliantly - have many of the people who helped with the revolt murdered. Further proving his brilliance, he takes one of the generals who helped with the revolt - who just had many of his friends killed by Basiliscus' hand - and sends him to find Zeno and kill him. Naturally, the general turns sides and leads his army back to knock Basiliscus off the throne. While all of this is going on, the barbarians took the rule of the Western Roman Empire, ending it officially. Way to go, Basiliscus.

Oddly enough, in spite of all of this Byzantium comes out OK. Zeno gets the idea of sending the Ostrogoths to take the now barbarian west from the Visigoths, solving two problems at once; the Visigoths were basically wiped from history, and the Ostrogoths can now rule independently, satisfied that they have land and not needing to attack into the east anymore. While the west may have fallen, the barbarian threat was muted, there were no major political enemies, and they didn't lose an ounce of territory. Things have never looked better, and they were on the up and up.

The Byzantine Empire: Part 1 - Foundations

AD 305-363

Oh boy. The book I read on this covers over a millennium of history condensed into three-hundred pages. Now I'm taking that and condensing it into blog form, further slimming down an entire empire that shaped much of our world as we see it into a few posts. It's not an easy task. However, there is an upside to it - condense that much time and you'll find that basically all you hear about is one of three things; revolutions, warfare, and assassinations. For the Byzantines, and pretty much every other civilization around at the time, that was their jam, so their story reads like something straight out of HBO. That would make sense, because of, you know, Rome. Anyways - the following blogs will show you the most important (or in my mind the most interesting) time periods of Byzantine history - just like you've always dreamed. Enjoy.

The Roman Empire at it's peak, roughly two hundred years before
the separation of east and west. An empire with both Sarmizegetusa and 
Lutetia Parisiorum? Are you kidding me?! Incredible!

So what exactly is the Byzantine Empire? Aside from the fantastic tech tree they had in Age of Empires II, I wasn't entirely sure - I knew they were old, now defunct, and their capital, Constantinople, spawned an intensely frustrating 1950s swing song about its name, but I didn't know much else. As it turns out, it all started out with the Roman Empire.

The Romans had been going through some tough times. While they may have created the greatest system of roads yet known to man, it kind of came back to bite them. Barbarians from the borders of their empire were using those roads, and were using them for things a little more nefarious than trade. I.e. looting and pillaging. Probably some other unpleasantries too, as those that loot and pillage typically are pretty loose in morals to begin with. Perhaps they would have been able to fight off those armies effectively, but they also had the debilitating problem of fighting themselves as well. Civil war was rampaging across the land as a number of would-be emperors were vying for the crown. Even further ruining the empire was the problem of inflation due to many of those emperor wanna-bes producing a ton of coin (or mad skrilla, as the Roman youth called it) causing tons of inflation in trying to fuel their uprisings. Essentially it was one problem creating another and creating another on top of that, ultimately leading to an issue even greater than the sum of its parts. The empire was collapsing, and they needed a hero. (By the way, you're going to be seeing that statement a lot throughout this blog series - good emperors seemed to crop up at opportune times fairly frequently.)

In comes Diocletian. A soldier who rose up and gained an army took the throne the only way someone takes a throne; by assassinations and crushing rival armies. Having the entire empire at his beck and call, he decided on something that few would be strong enough to do in that position, and relinquished some of the power. Proving to be a great show of foresight, he split the land in two with none other than an old drinking buddy of his, Maximian. We can only assume that when they were quite drunk one day Diocletian said "you know, if I ever rule over the entire empire in a bloody coup, I'm totally going to give you half, bud" and his friend took it to heart. Oddly enough, it ended up working very well. It was an easy separation, as the empire was already split across language barriers and culturally different from one another. Considering the empire was so huge, it also helped to better improve efficiency in tax collection and arming soldiers. He took the eastern side, mostly influenced by Greek culture through the wild exploits of Alexander. (Read about him here!)

He also made the role much more important than it had been in the past. Before, they followed in a
system that made it seem like the emperor was just a man, but a particularly smart or talented one that deserves respect and recognition. Unfortunately for the empire, that had meant that men could rise up and attack the throne if they believed themselves superior - which is ironic as that is just the way he rose to power. His solution for this problem was to make himself appear divine, linking himself with the gods, so anyone that dared try to usurp his position would lose the support of the common man and be labeled a heretic. You can attack an emperor if he's just a man, but you best not attack one that's chosen by the gods or you're getting a face full of lightning. Unfortunately for many in the empire, that meant he had to clear out Christianity as that no longer meshed with his beliefs. If he says he is chosen by the pagan gods, Christian followers will still theoretically be able to usurp him as they believe there is only one God (note the capital) and He can't be linked just to one single emperor.

There was a problem with succession, however. It's always been an issue for the Romans, and leaving someone who was ill equipped to lead may ruin all that he has done. Diocletian, thinking beyond his time on Earth, decided to retire (at the same time as Maximian) and left the rule to their Caesars (the rank below them). Those men, Galerius and Constantius, became co-emperors after their departures. Unfortunately, Diocletian made the mistake of giving power to two men who had sons - and sons typically meant a claim to the throne by birthright (ugh - such Roman nepotism). Maximian's son Maxentius and Constantius' son Constantine were made Caesars, but that did not necessarily slate them to become emperors. Once their leaders passed, they would be mere citizens when they believed they should inherit the throne. This didn't sit well with them.

Diocletian post-retirement. He went to go farm cabbage for
the remainder of his life, similar to George Bush painting in
his spare time upon his retirement. I don't want to say Bush
is the reincarnated Diocletian but, yes, yes I am saying that.

When Constantius passed on, a new emperor was chosen to lead by the name of Severus, much to the frustration and disappointment of Constantine. His army, whom he had successfully been leading, believed he was the true leader and Constantine agreed wholeheartedly. Not only did his army win out, claiming the eastern side as his own, but Maxentius took the western throne in a coup as well. However, Constantine wasn't quite done with his mission for power yet. In spite of a successful reign of co-emperors, Constantine wanted it all. He moved to attack Maxentius and gain full control, but just prior to his attack he prayed that the one true god would appear before him. According to his own words, God (like, Christian God - note the capital) showed himself and told him to lead by his banner. Upon the next morning he became a devout Christian, flying the banner of Christianity and attacking Maxentius successfully under the sign of the cross. Victorious, Constantine took the crown as the leader of the entire empire.

Perhaps his greatest achievement was using the massive treasury of the empire and having them produce a capital on an easily defensible position adjacent to a harbour. This would serve as the capital for his empire, having it built in only six years. Of course, he names it after himself, and Constantinople was born, and in turn, the Byzantine Empire. The name comes from the colony that originated there. To further cause confusion, it was also referred to as New Rome. To further cause confusion, in modern times it was renamed to Istanbul. But from now on, to make it clear, I will not call it Constantinople/New Rome/Byzantium/Instanbul but rather simply Constantinople.

Perhaps having a bit of an ego about him (being called an emperor must do that to you - just ask Napoleon) he also named all his sons as variations of Constantine as well. Household conversations must have been an infuriating affair. Worse yet, he didn't properly name a successor. That simple act of leaving one item off his ancient Roman to-do list (I assume some sort of stone tablet or something) meant that the moment he passed his family would be thrown into a civil war. Three brothers each named as a variation of the name Constantine battled it out for the throne. Through actions of slaughtering almost his entire family, the middle son took the helm, and Constantinius II is crowned.

He did, however, let his bookworm cousin Julian the Apostate live. Regardless of having no military experience, he sends the socially awkward, Woody Allen-esque guy named Julian to battle the barbarian Gauls in what was sure to be an absolute disaster. But, lo and behold, somehow it didn't pan out that way. He turned out to be a great leader, and against all odds his campaign was a massive success.

Now here's what's frustrating for the generals of the time; if you do poorly you get excommunicated, shamed, executed, or any number of awful punishments, but it's almost as dangerous as doing exceptionally well. Generals have had a storied history of rising to power in the Roman heritage and the riches and territory brought to the citizenship makes successful ones the most popular man in the... I don't know, public bath or wherever ancient Romans congregated. That means that those that do well, even those that are loyal to the crown (as Julian seemed to be) were looked upon with caution by their emperors that should be reaping the rewards of their generals' success.

Constantine just looked at his men
with those puppy-dog eyes and simply
asked to be emperor. Who could say no?

Constantinus II, in response to these victories and in a sense kind of worried that there would be more, recalled a number of his troops to go and fight in the east. This didn't go over all that well in the camp. Many of the men that had joined only did so on the promise that they wouldn't be going east. Naturally, this led to a revolt, and Julian the Apostate was ready to lead it. Planning to return to pagan roots, he sent messages promising a return to the old beliefs upon coming to power.

Meanwhile, Constantinus didn't really know this was going on. He was falling ill, and knew he was about to pass on soon. Believing Julian was still loyal to him and to Christianity, he named him as his successor.

Julian was not only true to his promise of returning to paganism, but overzealously true. He believed the Christian morals of generosity and forgiveness were making the empire weak and effeminate, and cracked down hard on the religion. Christianity would no longer be taught in schools, and Christians themselves could be killed or beaten with impunity. This didn't sit well with the public, and after a poor campaign against the Persians to the east, he died having lost all the popularity he had gained.

So what's next for the empire? Nothing but smiles and sunshine for the next thousand years until they leave the limelight satisfied? Well... no. Barbarians. A lot of barbarians are coming.